"But can you just help my kid lose weight?"
Sep 23, 2022
It’s pretty cool - word about Family in Focus is spreading. That is NOT a bad thing by any means!
Parents are looking for ways to help their children, and help themselves feel better about the job they're doing raising a healthy family.
And yet, there’s a question that simmers below the surface, often starting with “Yeah, a better relationship with food is fine…
And (here it comes)...
“But can you just help my kid lose weight?”
Parents, we've been sold a bad promise:
A promise that it will all be better if,
when
we lose weight,
when our kids lose weight.
But thing about how often you have thought,
"It's all good, it's just a few pounds I need to lose."
This.is.a lie.
It's never just about the weight.
It’s about how we look at ourselves, and judging our worth, our value, and our progress off of the scale.
What toll happens when we focus on the weight?
Weight becomes a huge triple-horned, orange-eyed, clawed monster that stays with us.
Exaggerate much?
Well, for how long have you thought, "I just need to lose 5, 10, 15 pounds"?
Or, "If I could just get rid of this flab?
Agh, my belly." "I can't eat that, it'll go straight to my hips."
It sticks with us. And I'm not talking about the weight.
I'm talking about the fear of food, of our own bodies: it sticks with us.
Let's stop this bullshit now - and stop teaching our kids that they just need to lose weight to be healthier.
The short answer is no, I cannot, I will not just help your kid lose weight.
I will not support putting them on a diet to externally make everyone thing that they’re doing better, and meanwhile they are feeding a monster inside, the monster who judges their worth by the number on the scale.
As parents, we can reject it - we can see what this has done for us, and how we don't want this for our children.
As parents, we can see the environment that our kids are in, and choose to be a DIFFERENT environment: one of understanding, of love, and compassion.
As parents, we can be the one place where kids see that they don't have to change, or to lose weight, in order to be loved, accepted and healthy.
Yes, healthy.
At every weight.
Because health IS.NOT.DEFINED.BY.YOUR.WEIGHT.
Health is not defined by your child's weight.
Your child is not defined by their weight.
Let's stop focusing on the weight.
There's a child who needs us. Let’s focus on them.
And you're in the right place to do that: Family in Focus.
Tell me: what are you struggling with in your family? How can I help you? For real... drop me a line! [email protected]. It comes straight to me, and I'll respond straight to you, straight-shooters!
Check out the Family in Focus with Wendy Schofer, MD Podcast!
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