Why is it so freaking hard to do?!?Sep 14, 2022
OMG, I keep asking myself this very question, and I'm catching myself.
Think about the last time that you asked yourself, "Why is this so hard?"
Why is raising a healthy family so hard?
Why is work so hard?
Why is getting my kids to eat better so hard?
Why is it so hard to get along with my mother-in-law?
This is a crappy question to ask. Learn how to ask - and ANSWER - better questions.
Think about this:
What are you making out to be easy or hard?
What are you calling hard?
How does that impact your approach when you think it's hard?
Listen, we can do hard things. We have put men on the moon, women on the Supreme Court, put communication devices in our back-pockets, and food in our kids' bellies every day.
We have done so many hard things in the past. We just didn’t look at them as being hard. They were just things that we wanted to do, and we got it done. We focused on getting there, not how FREAKING HARD it is all along the way.
Folks who focus on how hard it is are just using the part of their brain that is looking for evidence of the challenges - and how impossible it is -- because then we have all the reason to just stop. And have a pity party.
I'm here too! This comes up because I was just talking with my own coach about this this week.
Why is it so hard?
Well -- because I'm calling it hard. And that doesn't help a damn thing.
What am I making out to be hard vs easy? Why do I think it should be easy?
And what is in between the two?
For me, in between hard and easy is all the things that I AM doing. Each and every day, I'm taking steps towards health for my body, my mind, my business.
Those steps aren't hard. They just are what I'm doing.
And that's the progress that I see when I step back from the pity-party (I'm saying that lovingly... but calling it what it is).
You know, my mind goes to thinking that there should just be a plan that I can follow. You know, all the steps.
But those steps exist. They ARE SOMEONE ELSE's steps, their Lego instructions.
And what works for someone else doesn't necessarily work for me.
Because my brain is the one having the tantrum over here about how hard it is.
This is why we have so many challenges when the doctor prescribes all the "healthy habits" steps in the office. We see all the reasons why it is hard, why we haven't done it, and why it doesn't fit for us and our family. So go figure -- when we see those reasons, we also find that those plans don't work.
What works? Doing the work on what our brains are sneakily doing in the background.
They're just trying to protect us: from failure, from discomfort, from shame.
And our brains are keeping us from realizing what we really want.
It takes work - but it doesn't have to be hard. It's just calling it out - seeing the tricks our brains play on us, and knowing that there is a different way around it. That's seeing the obstacles (oh, how often is my biggest obstacle myself) and then finding ways to get around the obstacle.
I'm so glad you're on this journey with me.
This is what is so different with Family in Focus: We're talking about family health, we're talking about weight, we're talking about food and family - but, we are talking about LIFE. The skills that we learn here we can apply in all our relationships.
Hey - get in here. Group coaching is open til 9/18 at 11:59pm ET. Sign up HERE. Otherwise you have to wait a few months til we open again. Don't throw away your shot to apply these principals in your life and with your family. You can parent without all the food and body drama - and quite honestly, choose what life drama you want to keep (you know, 'cause some drama is fun!).
Check out the Family in Focus with Wendy Schofer, MD Podcast!
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