What does brushing my dog have to do with family health? It’s not what you think.
I love golden retrievers. I just calculated that between growing up with my first love, Jesse, and now with my bestie-for-life, Max, I have been surrounded by the loving fluff of a golden retriever for over 1/2 of my almost-50 years.
Twenty-five years of experience.
And yet, I just learned something today about caring for them.
Last night, my son and I took the dogs to our favorite place on Earth,Rick’s Frozen Custard in Portsmouth, Virginia. We ordered the creamy, glorious custard on yet another I’m-about-to-melt kind of day, and we made sure we got the pup cups.
All four of us were in heaven. And then after I licked my fingers for the final sweep of cleaning up the custard heaven, I noticed this white spot of hair on Max’s back leg. I tugged on it and it let go, the whole big chunk.
I grasped another chunk of white and - I’ll be darned - it all came out. I opted to not share all of my dog’s hair around the custard joint, and came home to bed, talking to my son about how this is just shedding, not a sign of a problem.
OK, fast forward to this morning with coffee, dogs and… a comb. Instead of looking at dog brushing as a task, I took it in part of my morning meditation and peace with the critters (and coffee - always with coffee).
For the past 45 minutes, I have lovingly combed Max. And I now have enough hair for another dog. I will spare you the photo, but the trash can is completely full of both hair and the guilt I feel that I should have done this weeks ago - and of course I should have known better.
Of course I had seen the tumbleweeds in my house (the hair balls all over the floors), and I have been using the brush when we return from daily walks.
And yet — I realize that I didn’t understand the full scope of just how much Max needed a legit TLC brushing right now. And probably on a very regular basis.
I felt really bad that I had been neglecting him. But that wasn’t the whole story. It wasn’t neglect. It was being focused on all the other things (fires and day-to-day minutiae) in my life. It was seeing that everything appeared to be status quo, because it was.
And yet, I heard all the words of people in my life who advised regular brushing and it hit me like a bolt of lightning: “OH, this is why it matters.”
Why it matters isn’t always obvious and it may not matter to us for many of our moments. Whether we are talking about movement, eating habits, sleep, relationships — there’s so.much.guidance out there and yeah, while we “should,” we don’t. Because of life. And then there may be a moment where it just clicks.
Don’t beat yourself up over it. In fact, I think I was ripe for this learning right now for another thing that just changed in my almost-50 years: I chopped off pretty much all of my hair. I am cooler than I have ever been in my life (temperature-wise, yes - and hey, maybe street cred too…. Maybe). When I saw the clumps coming off of Max, I thought about how amazing it was going to feel for him, and it became an act of sharing and love more than any other task on my to-do list.
It’s funny how the small things — like brushing a dog — remind me that care isn’t always urgent… until it is. And that’s true in families, too. With emotions. With habits. With connection. Sometimes, what looks fine on the surface just needs a little attention — not because anything is wrong, but because love shows up in the tending.
What’s one small thing in your life or family that might be quietly asking for a little more attention — not because it’s a crisis, but because it matters?
I’d love to hear what’s coming up for you. Share your reflections in the comments or drop me a note — this kind of noticing is where real change begins.
Check out the Family in Focus with Wendy Schofer, MD Podcast!
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
