I started Family in Focus when I was at a breaking point.
I was burned out (again), pouring my heart and soul into doctoring—into helping families who needed empathy, healing, and hope—and yet... it was never enough. I was never enough. I met more and more families struggling with weight, eating habits, and mental health. I gave them the “right” prescriptions: eat less, move more, engage more.
They’d return months later defeated.
“It didn’t work.”
“We’re failing our kids.”
“We’re fighting all the time.”
“There are candy wrappers hidden under the bed.”
“Everyone’s doing their own thing, and we’re all...alone, in the same house.”
And behind my stethoscope and smile, I felt it too: that same failure. As a physician. A mom. What was it all for?
But something shifted when I started really listening.
I began to question everything: why were we doing all of this, what was the evidence, who the @%$ made all the rules, what was the point?
We aren’t failing. We’re being set up to fail—with guidance that doesn’t work, in environments that don’t support the health and growth of families.
I’d catch myself saying, “It’s not about the weight. It’s not about the eating habits. It’s not about the diagnoses…” and then wondering, So what is it about?
It’s about emotions.
Connection.
Relationships.
And the way daily stress is messing with all of them.
The “answer,” I’ve learned, lies in leaning into emotions—not avoiding or pathologizing them. Emotions aren’t proof that we’re broken; they’re signals that we have needs.
Parents have needs. Kids have needs.
But when parents are constantly scrambling to meet everyone else’s needs, there’s nothing left to give. We’re empty. Burned out. Done.
And guess what burnout looks like in real life?
Fast food. Skipped meals. Exhaustion. Zero energy to cook, connect, or move our bodies with joy.
We are all—parents and children alike—stuck in chronic fight-or-flight.
For adults, that stress looks like overwhelm, irritation, short fuses, and exhaustion layered on top of our relationships, our diagnoses, and our lives.
For kids, chronic stress shows up as anxiety, depression, focus struggles, behavior challenges, and disordered eating.
And what do we do? We treat the symptoms. We say, “This is the problem. Let’s fix it.”
But we’re just slapping Band-Aids on a gaping wound.
Because the real problem, the big, gaping wound hidden in plain sight, is chronic stress.
And stress is just unmet emotional needs.
What I’ve learned as a trauma-informed physician and coach is that connection mitigates trauma.
Yet we’re so focused on food rules, diagnoses, and symptom-specific strategies that we’re missing the forest for the trees. It's been easier to focus on those because we just haven't had the language or the practice to really engage with emotions. The real threat to our families’ health is the culture we’re living in: the disconnection, the pressure, the relentless pace. We're trying to outrun our emotions & overwhelm. It’s not sustainable.
We don’t need more problem-fixing.
We need to see and meet our needs.
Needs are not problems. They’re human. They’re clues pointing us back to what matters. When we understand that connection is a biological need—just like food or sleep—we stop seeing ourselves as broken and start seeing new possibilities for healing.
You are not alone.
You are not broken.
And your needs are worthy of being met.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you’re nodding along, feeling seen, and wondering what to do next—you don’t have to figure it out alone.
This is exactly the work we do in Family in Focus: calm the chaos, meet the real needs, and rebuild connection—starting with you.
Let’s shift from surviving to thriving, together.
Let’s work together → www.wendyschofermd.com to find out about working together 1:1 or in my popular community of parents creating the changes we want for our families. You're not alone.
Check out the Family in Focus with Wendy Schofer, MD Podcast!
Stay connected with news and updates!
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
