It happened again.
I facilitated a conversation with pediatric resident physicians today about emotions and eating disorder prevention. We discussed the tenets of slowing down, curiosity, understanding the patterns that we want to foster, and yes - detecting emotions that are driving our behavior.
At the end, I asked for "What is your brain saying, 'WAIT, BUT...' about?"
The hand went up in the back of the room: "I'm thinking this is nice and all, but I don't have the time to do this."
There it is. It's always in the back of our minds:
We (think we) don't have the time to talk about emotions. We think:
- If we ask about emotions, it's like Pandora's box ERUPTING with icky, yicky emotions everywhere.
- If we open that box, it will never go back in - it's like the quintessential, "Hey, Doc, by the way," when your hand is on the door knob at the end of a visit.
- If we go there, we're gonna learn things that just aren't relevant to the discussion at-hand.
Yes we think that, and... NO.
I know that emotions are uncomfortable because we are just not familiar or practiced with actually naming and talking about them (let alone feeling them!).
I know that with practice, it gets so.much.easier.
I know that those who want to explore and practice can become emotions-whisperers too (look at all the parents who have participated in the Family in Focus® programs).
I know that workshops that embrace social-emotional skill-building, becoming aware of, naming and feeling emotions build connection that actually saves time because we are able to get to the heart of the issue with more trust, connection and yes, less time over the long-term.
And yet, today, I'm realizing I'm not here to convince.
I'm here to invite:
Send me your patients, your community members and family members.
My specialty is emotional health. This is what I do.
Just like we all learn to do certain things in training and then decide "there is no way in hell I'm ever doing that again" (hello, my kryptonite of dislocations and ew, funky toenails) - and then we create a practice of referring them to our colleagues who are jonesing for a reduction or a ew, toenail-ectomy. Ew. Give me a moment. Ack.
Ok, I'm back.
And I'm here, welcoming all the emotions. All Feelings are Welcome. (including ickies with gnarly nails).
Please, let's talk. I really want to be a resource for you and your patients and your family. Let's meet up to discuss support for your family, referral pathways, consult options, workshops (yes, I can and do teach parents & physicians how to welcome emotions -- it can become your superpower too!). Schedule Your Time to Discuss Now
Check out the Family in Focus with Wendy Schofer, MD Podcast!
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